The Examined Life
“The overexamined life [is] not worth living,” spoke a character from Colum McCann’s Let the Great World Spin. It was my junior year of high school, and I was reading the book for an English assignment. I vividly remember grabbing a yellow highlighter and carefully marking the quote. In a bit of overkill, I even made it my Facebook status. As someone who tended to overthink, the line became a mantra I held on to for years.
It wasn’t until my late twenties, when I began learning more about philosophy, that I discovered the original quote came from Socrates: “The unexamined life is not worth living.” I found myself recalling those late-teen years, warding off overthinking with my McCann-inspired mantra. Instantly, I began to wonder who was right: McCann’s character or Socrates himself?
Today, I’m a therapist who works with overthinkers. In fact, it’s a specialty of mine. Overthinking is just one symptom of anxiety. The most skilled overthinkers are often the most anxious.
From the outside, overthinking can make a person look diligent in their work, careful in considerations, and even overly conscientious. But on the inside, it can feel like a black hole of despair. My clients don’t lack insight: in fact, many of them have too much of it. If insight were currency, my clients would be billionaires. They replay conversations, dissect prior decisions, overanalyze future what-ifs, and are on high alert for moments of “being wrong.” Overthinking presents itself as wisdom, yet it’s grounded in fear.
Over time, through my own inner work and by working with clients, I’ve found myself defining the difference between reflection and over-examination. Reflection is grounded in curiosity and humility, while helping guide us to making meaningful change in our lives. Over-examination, on the other hand, narrows a person’s vision, takes over their body, and convinces them that they’re making progress when in reality they’re circling the same question.
Therapy is built on the idea that turning inward can bring clarity and freedom. When engaged in reflection, rather than over-examination, we grow through meaningful examination of ourselves. Reflection allows us to recognize and name patterns without shame, understand our histories with grace, and grants us the ability to choose what kind of person we want to become. Socrates wasn’t wrong: an entirely unexamined life drifts untethered from meaning and growth.
But McCann’s character wasn’t wrong either. There are moments when the best thing we can do for ourselves is step away from the paralysis by analysis, and simply live. And let ourselves act, feel, risk, and be imperfect without the inner critic.
With my clients, I focus on helping them change from over-examination to reflection in a variety of ways. Together, we explore what the over-examination is trying to tell us, where it lives in the client’s history, and what it may be protecting them from. We approach those questions gently, with clarity and compassion.
Sometimes the most authentic act is to pause the spiral and return to the present. Other times, turning inward and asking, “what’s really going on here?” helps lead to growth. Both require self trust. And both require compassion. Learning to shift from over-examination into reflection isn’t instant, but it is possible.
Across the years—as a teenager with a yellow highlighter, and now as a therapist sitting across from anxious and brilliant human beings—I’ve learned that there is no single answer that fits every person, every question, and every phase of life. Wisdom often lives in the gray area between the two quotes, not in choosing one forever and holding onto it for dear life.
So, back to my original question: Which is best? The over-examined life, or unexamined life? That’s up to you. Personally, I’ve settled on this: the examined life is worth living.
If you struggle with overthinking and would like support in finding that balance for yourself, I’d be honored to walk alongside you. Reach out today for a free consultation.
